Kotaku
Yes, we've definitely heard all about Uwe Boll's claim that if a million concerned gamers were to band together, say via internet petition, he'd stop making movies. You can throttle bak on the tips, Turbo. While no one at the Kotaku Towers complex believes that Uwe will give up the movie biz for a second, it doesn't seem to have curbed enthusiasm for an internet rallying cry. How does Mr. Boll respond?
In shattered English, Boll says he hopes that someone, somewhere will start a pro-Uwe petition. Why? Here's why.
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again," says Boll. "If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius you know, and if you go on May 23 on Postal you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years, what is way better as all that social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend."
Pretty infallible, but if it's not clear yet, Boll clearly illustrates that you're at fault, not him. "You have to really wake up and you have to see me what I am," he says. "I am the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye."
Genius? And how! He's got a legion of anti-fans paying him more attention than ever as Postal approaches. I'm off to generate that pro-Boll petition, 'cause if Boll stops making movies, we're out a half-dozen posts a month. Oh, and sprinkle some [sic] around this post. It's all verbatim.
Postal [MovieSet]
Comments
Remember that post a while back where someone said he was humble and stuff? Hmm.
See? Now what kind of MONSTER would want to put an end to this?
Once again: he is the most consistently entertaining man in the gaming world. We need him alive.
I must be the only one who likes his movies, I don't love them and think they are the greatest, but I have a shelf of movies that are worse than his.
Mr. Boll, I must disagree with your assertion. You are, in fact, a fucking retard.
I may not be that great of a Michael Bay fan but I would prefer to watch his movies over Boll's. I will take Transformers any day over in the name of the king.
Are you really going to go start a pro-Boll petition? Because if you're joking, I'll really start one.
I love the guy.
I don't like him, but I don't like Michael Bay either. Is the enemy of my enemy my friend, or is he just another douche?
Well, he's partially right in that Hollywood is churning out bucket-loads of the same old shit, but that doesn't make Uwe Boll's shit smell any better, either.
Uhhhh... What? He's joking, right? This is him just trying to drum up attendance for his shitty movie, right? I've seen him in interviews and... this seems like the kind of thing he'd said in all seriousness... I really want to meet this guy so I can hit him with something blunt.
Hahaha. Postal. Movie.
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again"
No Mr. Boll, you make different shitty movies over and over again.
I am pretty sure we could come up with 1 million crazy internet folk to sign the anti-Boll petition. Then another 1 million sane ones.
Although I am interested to see how Postal turns out. It's got an air of a direct to DVD American Pie Comedy.
i like uwe boll. i like the movies knowing that this man created them, and he is a funny man.
This guy is jokes.
"If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius you know, and if you go on May 23 on Postal you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years" "I am the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye."
genius...right
I agree that Roth's terrible; he's just got a gore fetish and is sharing it with the rest of us.
on the other hand, lay off of Michael Bay. At least he knows he's mainly a summer-movie guy.
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay"
Mr. Boll wins
HAhahaha, Ooh Uwe, GTFO!
One thing I agree with him at, despite the self claims:
People are idiots, and they complain about anything that´s different that what they were used to. that´s why people made rebellions against the first vaccine campains and thought that thw world was flat.
I'm starting a petition to have McWhertor actually start a Pro-Boll petition. Anyone want to sign?
x_______________________
No? Okay.
One thing I have to admit...
When you create something, sometimes it's better to create it for yourself, and not make it for others.
Being selfish like that is the best way to go.
@Polywhirl: Lets start one! I'll sign.
@Seihyouken:
Agred. but then again different is batter than the same.
If he ever made a movie on the same level of Pan's Labyrinth i might respect him, but calling other people stupid and their shit bull shit is pretty low. Even at their lowest Michael Bay and George Clooney will always end up making more money then this fucktard.
i think he's either:
1. just likes to spurn hate to create more publicity
or
2. he thinks he's like Roger Corman. thing is Corman doesn't take subject matter that people take VERY seriously
124900 so far...
Getting closer...
@frostcircus: Really? I dunno. I think JT's pretty close competition. Maybe not quite as much now that he needs a real lawyer to hold his hand through any trials he wants, but I really think JT's more entertaining. Maybe that's just because I haven't paid enough attention to Uwe...
Anyone who uses "what" in place of "which" or "that" is an A+++ individual, in my book.
Huckleberry Finn, for example!
He needs to listen to that Dane Cook joke, where Dane explains how to give the middle finger like a man. None of that weak limp wrist shit...
Bay and Roth are pretty easy targets, but Clooney? Shtick went totally off-point there, kowboy. Put put me in mind of the cockroach analogy from The Mothman Chronicles.
Ah, Uwe Boll. His broken English rants are always the highlight of my day. What I've yet to understand tho is what the hell does he have against video games? What did they do that affected him so much that he grew up knowing that he'd one day ruin them with his craptastic movies? Did they touch you, Uwe? Did they?! Use the Companion Cube to show us where you were VIOLATED!
@Roflcopter_Down: Wants you to follow HIM!: Michael Bay is not a fucking retard. Michael Bay demands things to be AWESOME!
+ Watch video
Ok, I still think he's a douche, but this commercial is amusing.
I seriously can't stop...laughing...it's starting to hurt my side....seriously thank you, Kotaku, for bringing this to my attention. Uwe Boll = Genius? I think I'll go throw up from laughing so hard, which is convenient, since I want to throw up anyway.
May 23? Is he trying to give me a bad birth day?
Personally, I like him better this way. He's entertaining now! Kind of reminds me like a pro-wrestler, he has this bastard character everyone hates and boos and he comes out and insults people. It's great! Of course, nobody takes him seriously, it's just fun to sit back and watch :)
Fingers crossed for a DLC cameo in Smackdown vs Raw 2009!
"Look I'm Not A Fucking Retard"
I beg to differ, Mr. Boll.
@Kickinstuff13: Except Cook is more of a pathetic blight than Uwe is. At least Uwe is funny.
How can anyone truly hate this guy? He's like the Ed Wood of the 21st century (without the charm). He's a walking parody, but I'm pretty sure he realizes it.
what an awesome douchebag, is all I have to say.
I can't wait until there really is a petition 1 million strong just to see what Uwe says about it.
Michael Bay made a film adaption (or sequel, whatever) that was well-received and enjoyable.
Uwe Boll made BloodRayne.
Yeeeaaaaah.
Hmm, this is the Boll I know. I don't know where people get their perceptions of Boll from these days, but back after he'd only made House of the Dead and his next movie was coming, I read a long document by someone who worked with him on creating House of the Dead, and it really went into detail about everything. While I can't remember if the ego was then or came later, I will always remember that Uwe Boll's solution to every problem in that movie was adding more explosions. Why he would pick a fight with Michael Bay after that fact... Well, that's that.
@Captain Impulse: That was the best commercial ever made. Period.
I'd say odds are pretty good Bay's lowest grossing movie still did way better than Boll's highest grossing. I'm not a Bay fan, but jeez, the guy at least has a basic level of competence when it comes to film making.
We love him because we hate him. Seriously, why make him leave? He makes us laugh.
Hmm... using such foul language makes him look real professional.
What a goober.
Say what you will, but you have to respect the cojones on a man who says he's the only genius in his field.
I should start a pro-Boll petition. After all, the world NEEDS an Uwe Boll. Without him, how is anyone going to know what crap really is? He sets the bar for everyone.
Wait, there is another transformers? I didn't know about this! oh... wait... Fuck you boll, fuck you.
Meh he's a douche bag but if Postal is as funny as that 5 minute clip he released I'll pay to go see that.
And I also think Michael Bay is a comp