Kotaku
Sometime in the year 2952, when video game consoles aren't just ingestible, but viral, count on the term fan boys having an all together different, more sinister meaning.
"Resistance is futile, but Resistance Fall of Man IX, now that's a kick ass next, next, next, next, next, next, next, next gen game."
Full disclosure: While Jonathan calls himself a fanboy, he does point out that the parts that he shoved into the various nooks and crannies of his face came from his broken imported Dual Shock 3 controller which broke after tumbling two-feet from his nightstand.
[Thanks Jonathan... for the nightmares]
Comments
Where's the cable?
Haha, oh wow.
I'm worried where he put the other parts.
@Cruithne: Must you ask? >_<
The new Sony Defence Force Soldier unveiled! :D
Umm, uh huh. I hope nobody pushes your buttons! Bada Bing! I know that was retarded.
@Cruithne: Its wireless, just like all the controllers nowadays are...
Wait... so the ultimate fanboy becomes the console but can't play it themself? What's the point in that? :/
[wii remote allusion]
Penis.
[/wii remote allusion]
@Cruithne: There are none! You should be asking where is the "Blue Tooth"? Hey-ho!! ... Sorry, it was a great chance for a bad joke. I couldn't resist.
-Niric
I need some of those Monolith dipers, please.
for a split second, just for a split second as my rubbish connection made the image appear in sections and i was reading the header - i shit my pants.
scroll so its only visible to just under the eyes and dont look directly at it, look away from the image, look to the right of it and tell me that its not freaky.
my eyes! D: lol that looks freaky as I was scrolling around kotaku XD aha!
Two feet? Seriously? That's sad.
I THREW a dualshock two to the floor and all that happened to it was a few missing shoulder buttons and a small crack.
I don't understand how people break their stuff like that. I've never had any of my electronics get lost or broken before. Other than when my stupid friend put my Xbox LIVE cheap wired headset in a backpack full of heavy stuff and smashed it as we carried it around. I don't know, I guess I just take care of my stuff =/
@Cruithne: D:
Crecente you make prinny sad. D:
You killed a controller to do that, you sir are on my enemy list...once I start an enemy list.
Does it have tilt?
He looks like some sort of cross between a ps3 and a vampire.
...*facepalm*
Haha, I read the text and thought it was trolling because the pic wouldn't load. Then I loaded the pic and loled...
So what's under his nightstand? An exploding danger zone from DoA1? I've never managed to kill a Sony controller... Though I've had several pre-dualshock PSX pads drop dead of mysterious mechanical blinddeadpigginess
@Iceking5: No way. He had to be the antiPLAYSTATION (yes it has to be capitalized). The end times are nigh! The TVs will display rivers of blood and the sun being blocked out!
My guess is that the L2 and R2 and behind the ears.
Im not even gonna ask where the connector cord comes out of.
I wish I had analog eyes, then I could really freak people out.
Yet my DS has fallen many times from much higher and I have pummeled my still perfect gamecube controller for years.
Am I questioning the quality of Sony? No....... yes
*in valley girl voice*
Eww.
No 'Giant face' tag?
This reminds me of an old internet haiku!
"Does anyone ever feel like jumping through the internet and punching someone in the face?"
Not a haiku? Owell.
...I wouldn't hit that.
He's not a true fanboy unless he used all the components from that broken controller, just like true Native Americans use all the body parts from their hunt.
Bet he gets beaten up by the ultimate 360 fanboy a lot.
heh, i thought he had a tattoo of the PS home button on his forhead before that all loaded in, slow internet ftw!
This guy has issues...he neets to think about his life and restart.
Too bad he's missing the start and select buttons...
So.....his controller falls two feet and breaks.
That's pretty effin' pathetic for a controller.
Resistance better get a lot better if they plan to have a 9th installment.
Hahahaha... where's Kyle81? He should have a look at this and COPY HIS STYLE. Awesome look for your Sonyboy next door!
This is most horrifying.
Is that cleft chin ergonomically designed?
A controller with a sleek, greasy, pimply finish should be a hit with the kids.
This is neat, in a weird way.
Hmm. So this is living?
>_>
SHIT, was drinking my soda and playing my PSP when I suddenly turn to see if my Kotaku page did load up(its being slow with all the downloads) and BOOM this creepy face in front of me while I spat the soda all over the monitor and the PSP!! :(
@Sabastian_Chadwick_McGirt: Yeah, what's up with that? I've heard of 360 controllers falling 2 stories and still functional.
quick sony make it an advertisement :)
;)
tweezers.
What has been seen, cannot be unseen
@steliosco:
It would certainly be better than "This is Living"!
Zing!
I'll throw myself out. :)
I just had a great idea for doing something similar with the 360.
Now when I bend over and drop my pants, hand me that red lipstick...
Can we have this picture AFTER the break? It's creeping me the fuck out. I don't like scrolling past it everytime I try to read the news.
Now he has 10 bit sight sensitivity, instead of 8 bit.
@Cruithne: LOL YOU'RE SO INTERNET EDGY AND FUNNY MAN YOU SHOULD BE A WRITER!
I can see the 360 fanboys coming in with something similar... just need someone to exercise until they die from exhaustion.
Ba-dum-dum-chh.
Hope he didn't breathe in through his nose too hard...it'd be funny explaining to a doctor why he had the X or O button up his nose..
Okay, this guy VS Jamzy, who wins?
uh...wtf?
I decide to refresh my Kotaku and THIS FACE suddenly pop out and scrare the hell out of me. >_<
Good job Kotaku, good job... :(
I did not read the post. I get it, though, I get it!
I must remember that gaming can be addiction, I need to level in real life, and sometimes it is best just go ahead and unplug!
The message is sentient.
No. Just no.
Wow.
-Warning- Clearasil gives you confidence.
Sometimes, photos like this one should stay in your "My Images" folder and never go on the web. Maybe Windows Firewall should be 2 ways and protects the user of Internets and Internets from the user.
Fuck me...that freaked the shit out of me when i scrolled down..damn
*sigh* why does that picture have to be so large and monitor-consuming? I was eating, Crecente. Was.
Uh, yeah. Pointless in size and meaning.
I love Sony. Both The PS2 and PS3 have given me many hours of enjoyment. I had gone through 4 Xbox 360's(they all broke)and i was tired of wasting money so i bought the PS3 last August and have enjoyed every minute of it. My first Sixaxis broke the same way my dualshock broke, so i bought a new one. Then when I imported the dualshock 3 i enjoyed that until two weeks ago it fell. So i rush ordered an imported silver dual shock, and in two days it was there for me to enjoy. So all in all I love Sony and all of its products and i thought it would be fun to wear it on my face.
Creepy
where did he put the rumble motors
I was just innocently scrolling away and ACK...analog eyes! Put it away!! Put that thing away underneath the jump! Make lots of new posts so it goes away into the archives and never comes out again!!!
(is closing eyes and flailing helplessly towards the monitor with one hand and frantically going to shut Firefox the second this is posted)
I love Sony and all of its products and I thought it would be fun to wear it on my face. I had gone through four broken Xbox 360's and was tired of wasting money, so I bought a PS3 last year and have enjoyed every moment. I know keep my new silver dual shock 3 in a drawer to keep it safe. PS3 rocks and cant wait until PS9 when i can play games in my mind with those game nodes that enter through my nose.