Team Ninja's
Ninja Gaiden
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So much blood....

I love how wrong she gets RE4's plot too. It's a nice effort, but she needs to refrain from drinking a gallon of Hatorade before sitting down to play these games.

Besides, it's probably her fault for buying the games for her kids anyway.

Did anybody notice the middle screenshot in the article shows two kids playing MARIO KART 64 while talking about violence and corruption of the youth, by the way? You heard it here first, folks. Mario Kart 64 teaches children to throw spiky turtle shells at each other. It's EEEEEEEVIL!

This is like when I played Resident Evil for Playstation when I was like, 10, and was scared out of my mind as I just stood and watched a zombie kill me, immobilized by fear.

"THAT ENEMY KILLED ME. VIOLENCE FOR VIOLENCE'S SAKE. THIS GAME IS SCARY. DO NOT BUY IT."

Please -.-

Oh, bless Anne Diamond. Never thought I'd see the day when she played RE4.

At least now she knows how the British public felt when she inflicted Good Morning with Anne & Nick on us.

Middle-aged woman doesn't get computer games shocker!

Should I start writing reviews on books about the menopause?

So.... she plays the games first, THEN focuses on nothing but the violence? Well, we're halfway there...

There was violence in RE4?

Violence for violence sake? When the hell has that ever sold? {Looks at stacks upon stacks of media unfolding out onto infinity} Oh my God! Its full of stars......

I suppose her knitting circle reads all of her reviews with great anticipation and cackles with glee every time she blithely misses the point or gets something wrong.

They're amusing, but not as well thought-out as Yahtzee's work. As far as I'm concerned, Yahtzee has no need to "stand aside". He's fine where he is.

@Archaotic: I had a friend spin off the road and crash his car because of a banana peel. They never tell you in Mario Kart that your legs won't work again.

These people don't seem to understand that these games are aimed towards the 20's to middle age gamer who doesn't mind violence and gore. It's even worse that people complain about games when you don't hear crap about movies like Saw, which are more violent than any game, really.

I think it's nice she tried them.
But saying that they shouldn't be sold even to adults? I think she should go to the movies sometimes too.
And get with the times.

@Foggynotion: Win.

oh sweet zombie jesus, her descriptions of the games are just awful. Does she even bother to pay attention to the storylines?

I stopped playing when I was set on fire and something splatered blood all over my visor.

Noooooooooo....that means that evil wins! Keep fighting Anne! Keep fighting!

I love how she referes to Halo 3 as being "in with the teenagers". And when did they ever pack this game in with an Xbox?

What's next, a sequel to "The Mask" starring some stupid baby?

It's the Mary Whitehouse of the game reviewing world...

@uranutan:
Don't get me started on this point. The exploitationist violence in the film market greatly outweighs ANYTHING done in gaming so far, and yet people are fine with shit like Saw, Hostel, Running Scared, and their ilk. The double standard sickens me.

I love how this woman thinks she knows everything.

dude those two reviews are ... perfect, something splatted blood all over my visor? omg WHAT COULD IT BE I MUST KNOW? chaching I just got the game now it is time to find out what she was talking about. But hold up graphic sequences of red flesh and flies? I had better make sure my kids are not in the room while I play.

Make her the chairmen of the esrb

I think she's perhaps, I don't know, stating the obvious?

I mean, geez, I doubt anyone thought Resident Evil or Jerico would be family-frendly entertainment. Horror games tend to include, GASP, blood and scary moments.

Depending on how honest she really is with all this, it might be more productive if she reviewed games that are misunderstood (like Mass Effect) rather than those that contain pretty much exactly what's on the box.

...

I wonder what she'd say of Condemned...

What ever. This is same kind of old person drivel that came out against all things new for the past, oh, FOREVER. Old people generally dislike the things younger people like. Heavy Metal in the 80's was a classic example. In a few years nobody will even pay any mind to morons like this woman and her hate filled drivel.

Good thing she didn't get her head decapitated by a chainsaw spewing blood all over the place in slow motion.

She would hate it Guizzy. But it is for adults. So oh well.

@AnotherGamer: I think with that ugly ass green one. Anyways, I laughed because her review of DOA4 was actually pretty accurate, but I enjoy over-sexualized ladies with gravity defying boobs

I love the comment next to CoD4:

""You experience the murder through the eyes of the president himself... You're kicked in the face and then shot - dead - and it feels pretty real."

... stupid bitch.

@Guizzy: "I wonder what she'd say of Condemned..."

"Hobos... everywhere... I stopped playing when I battered a hobo corpse for 45 minutes JUST TO WATCH HIM BLEED and some of the blood sprayed onto my pants..."

@Blah-Blah-Blah: Good try at missing the point, but Anne's still better than you at it.

@ErskinPig:
I can help with that book.

I was stuck with writing and researching, with 3 other guys, about the menopause for a University project.

COD4 comment was hillarious

She most likely hates stuff like Maxim mag and Girls Gone Wild too. Anythings that is not "Good" and "Proper" is just bad in her book. Some body needs to send her back to old folks home and put her back on the morphine drip.

Wow, she sure paid attention during the opening of RE4. Still, I can't imagine what the genre looks like to your average person. Frankly, and this may just be me, but I recognize that I have certain "suspension of belief" when I play violent games. I don't try and imagine the reality of them, I'm aware that I'm playing a game the whole time. If I were to believe in what I was doing, I certainly won't do it, would I?

I remember pulling a girl out of her car in GTA3, and I noticed that she was a college girl driving basically the same car as my sister did at the time, and it hit home for a moment, and I felt a little ashamed of the act. I wouldn't want to be a carjacker, and I certainly won't want to be Leon. Yet, at the same time, they're fun games. I imagine that's hard for our average person to understand.

Look at the photo of her. The games in her left hand are sliced in two, and she appears to have put a copy of Dead Rising through her shoulder.

Why was photoshopping necessary for such a picture? Couldn't she just hold the games herself?

Also, I like how half the games still have their HMV price stickers on them. Something about taking that photo was obviously rushed.

I agree, good on her for trying the games first, but I think she's entirely missing the target market for these games. These games are much like R-rated movies, and they should be treated as such. Telling parents that games designed for audiences of 17+ are inappropriate for 12 and 14 year olds just seems like a waste of time.

While I'm on the topic, where's the outrage for movies like Saw and Hostel? I'd betcha just as many kids have access to movies like that. Why aren't we seeing the graphic writeups, packed to the brim with hyperbole talking about these movies?

She should not play dead rising and manhunt2 or doom3, she would vomit in the first 5 min of the game...

I am literally rolling on the floor.
At least I hope she gets the esrb ratings right.
I think she'll never get what we like in those games, but it is SO funny to see the reasons why she stops playing.

Only thing I don't like is that she tries to talk of something she's not used to.
if you're not an astrophysician, don't go and try to predict how many zillion years the planet still have to live or something like that, it's the same thing here. RE4 might be horrifying, but GOD this engine for capcom is a revolution. Active, no fixed camera angles or least possible, brilliant work. I didn't play jericho, but I'd like to see those violent shots, it must be hilarious.

she's not very good at video games. she didnt make it very far...

What surprises me is her relatively honest and uncharacteristically not exaggerated opinion on Halo 3.

Although the "not too much bad language" makes me think she MIIIGHT not have played it on Live.

@Espy:
Maybe she didn't want to actually touch the games for fear of being infected by their EVIL VIOLENCE. *eyeroll*

Guys, you should really read her 2 cents about Halo 3. It's much funnier than the RE4 bit. She's actually taking advice of her teenage sons that the is just for ages 12-14.

i actually read this this mornin in the paper, and couldn't believe her coment about resident evil...Yeh it is a violent bloody game but its no where near as some game out there. What made me laugh was the review of Halo 3... tha game isn't scary is gorey and shudnt and she had doubts of her 12 yr old son play the game....

What the goverment want to look at are films they have more impact on childrens minds not video games....

Wait the review was intended to be serious? It seemed low quality to me are you guys sure it wasn't a joke review?

Cause if she is being serious I am strongly considering suing her into oblivion for spreading such libelous lies about gaming.

Who does she think she is, she is a criminal and needs to be sued for her inhumane treatment of videogames. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

my my, many of Kotaku's members are so funny.

@Archaotic: You say

"exploitationist violence in the film market greatly outweighs ANYTHING done in gaming so far, and yet people are fine with shit like Saw, Hostel, Running Scared, and their ilk. The double standard sickens me"

So what in the world are you suggesting? That we close that gap as soon as we can? Your argument is used by so many people, yet it makes little sense. And this "double standard" is not so cut and dry as you make it out to be. Anybody against bloodbath type movies also get called a "bitch" and "total losers" as so many Kotaku readers like to call them.

and thats why women cant do video games they just cant gtfo lady

@vicmasterinc: Ah, and sexism reara it's ugly head yet again.

I guess she didnt get far enough into RE4 to have her head chopped off by Chainsaw Charlie (which was like what? 15 minutes into the game?) I remember the first time my head was chopped off i stood up and said "Goddamn this is a good game!" One hit kills from a normal enemy in a modern game really impressed me.

@Espy: Yea what the hell is going on in this picture?

[img.dailymail.co.uk]

@vicmasterinc: yeah those silly women! i bet they'll wanna vote next! heck they may wanna even want to operate those brand new automobiles! (ps sarcasm intended, just n case y'know ;)

@danno1985: You say,

"What the goverment want to look at are films they have more impact on childrens minds not video games.... "

But how do you know that? See this is what i am talking about. People accuse her of being a liar and not knowing what she is talking about, but then their arguments are full of opinion and no fact.

A logical comeback, is too take what she says, and prove point by point why it is wrong. I have yet to see that. Instead i have to go through page after page, and the only comeback Kotaku readers know is that she is a "liar and a bitch." Brilliant people, just brilliant......

It's funny how the picture is 2 kids playing Mario Kart 64 and their talking about how video game violence is going to kill us all.

I love the Halo 3 comment about how 12-14 year olds are playing a 15 rated game and she basically caved in to her kids to get it for them.

She's trying to take the moral high ground, yet she is the type of person that this 'Byron Report' was trying to educate and eliminate.

Putting aside her colourful comments, I hope that those who read this can finally lay to rest their 'games are for kids' mantra and recognise that these games aren't intended for children.

Someone beat me to it, but the DoA4 review was the funniest... since it was actually accurate.

@vicmasterinc: Yea JThompson is obviously much more equipped to judge games.

Would someone mind copypasta'ing some reviews. I just absolutely refuse to visit the daily mail, as they are one of the worst offenders of muck-raking, sleazy, shallow, vapid, banal, making-the-world-completely-fucking-retarded, lowering peoples' self-esteem because they have the fucking audacity to be too heavy/thin/pale/tan/pregnant/black/asian/have a pimple..., Rupert Murdoch-owned, indoctrinating, shit tabloid propaganda. Seriously, after Anon beats Scientology, they should go after these assholes. Their worse than the terrorists.

The Daily Mail is a rag. As well as nonsense like this they are noteworthy only for their naked xenophobia. Regarde:

[www.mailwatch.co.uk]

The above website makes an amusing read. Click on the 'Johnny Foreigner' link on the right hand side for examples of the afore-mentioned racism.

what her gamertag?

Slash their arms off?

FUCK I must have bought the wrong version XD

"I stopped playing when I was set on fire and something splattered blood all over my visor."

Sadly Anne wasn't talking about the game, she's now recovering in hospital. Jericho is such a bad game it will cause to you spontaniously combust.

@autob0n:
I'm saying that bloodbath/torture porn movies should be held to the same "criminal" standard as games are. Those movies should be scrutinized and publicly demonized just as much as M-rated games are, especially when the shit they contain is often by an order of magnitude worse than what's in the games.

Who is she, and why should I care?

"Anne Diamond gives her chilling verdict on the violent video games that are to carry age ratings"

Paraphrased, isn't this saying:

"Anne Diamond gives her chilling verdict on the violent video games that aren't going to be banned in the UK, but obviously should" ?
It's basically "look at all this violence our government refuses to ban!" I don't like where this is going.