Kotaku
We've got a little more info on today's darling of the internets, the unexpected sequel to 50 Cent's first game outing, Bulletproof. This time relating to the game's story. A story of blood, sand, promises, treachery, revenge and...a crystal skull. Which we're guessing somebody was paid to write. I...you...look, just read this, will you?
...what's inspired the title is, 50 and G-Unit are putting on a sold-out performance somewhere in a fictional Middle Eastern setting. This is where the 'blood on the sand' comes in. They put on the performance; the people are pleased, but the concert promoter stiffs them and doesn't give 50 and G-Unit their payment.What...what? What? Why is he being entrusted with national treasures? Why can't he just buy another skull? So many questions...so many, many questions....
So, of course, 50 isn't going to leave until he gets paid, so he hassles the concert promoter, [saying] if he doesn't come up with the money now, there will be consequences. And instead, the promoter offers him a very valuable gift - something that's valuable to this particular country - a diamond encrusted skull.So 50 gets the skull, and as he's about to leave this war-torn country, when they're ambushed and the skull is taken. They escape the ambush, but they're without the skull. So 50's motivated to get what belongs to him. So basically, throughout the game, he's trying to track these people down and find out who they are and why he was ambushed.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand Interview [IGN]
Comments
Oh my god oh my god oh my god I cannot stop laughing! XD
Amazing... I was thinking of another adjective...
50 cent and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!
Gogo Spielberg!
best game ever...or BESTEST game ever
I give it a 10/10.
I see the Sci-Fi channel let their writers out.
I personally think this story is excellent. A truely epic story about the struggle of the streets.
so its 50cent put into call of duty 4?
Judging by how lame his song lyrics are, I'm guessing he wrote that story himself...
I shoulda known that diamond encrusted skull would pop up sooner or later. Remember that?
I hope to god this gets banned, or at least its sales demolished in the backlash once the mainstream media gets hold of this.
wow. that's EPIC.
I'm going to explain this to all of the thug gamers in my GameStop, and they are going to laugh. Hard.
No one is going to find this storyline entertaining.
So...
Resident Evil 5 features white man killing african zombie like villagers. Racist.
50 Cent features black man killing middle-eastern villagers. ...?
This has winner written all over it. No seriously... okay even I can't keep that lie going.
This has to be fake. It's almost april. There is NO fucking way this is real. And if it is, i'll buy everyone a copy and then 10 MORE copies just for myself.
I will only buy this if I can play as one of the people who ambushes him, and 'bust a cap in his ass'!
:P
Oh damn, now this really got my attention...
I guess I'll have to rent this game now...
(And to think that I was making fun of the poor game a couple of hours ago)
haha GTA: 50 cents
The graphics are surprisingly sharp. IGN had screens up. From the interview I read it sounds like they are making a pretty decent Gears Of War rip-off with a (more) ridiculous plot.
I bet you Osama bin Laden probably took the skull. Trying to defeat America by not paying its rappers...
I get it! When he said he will no longer make music if Kanye West outsells him, he said he will be writting crappy stories for games, damn it I wish I bought his album now! (and burned it!)
So, what part of the middle east is he in exactly? Cause you know, I'd hate to be playing MGS4 and see G-Unit pass me by, fighting some other militia.
Oh, nevermind. Fictional middle east setting.
@TheSonicGamer: What a madman.
No wonder we had to send one of our best rappers that this country has to offer.
HOLY CHRIST A QUEST FOR A SKULL
THIS GAME IS 100% TAILOR-MADE FOR ME
HAUGHAGUHAGUAGHAGALGHALGA
Fittyana Jones ain't no sucker
I love the "that's where the 'blood on the sand' comes in" line. As if the story wasn't already stupid enough to bother explaining the positively brilliant title.
@ArmyofJuan: I am totally holding you to that.
Simply amazing, I haven't heard a more oscar worthy story in some time.
......wha?
PFFFFFFTTT!!!
@ArmyofJuan:
Oh it's real alright.
@myself from previous post: Here is a game that I now care even less about and feel shameful for the people that were forced at gun point (prolly by G-Unit and fidddy) to write this terrible abomination of fiction and game story....
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAVE THE CHILDREN
Ha ha that is one hilarious synopsis.
It would be funny if your health meter allowed you to be shot nine times for satirical purposes.
Although I would have thought the whole thing was satirical. But I know some kids out there will take it seriously.
wow this has got to be the most complicated plot i have ever read, frankly of y
This is using the Unreal Engine 3!
I'm also not seeing the "sold-out rap concert in a war-torn third world country."
Who the fuck bought all those tickets? Donkeys and camels?
This is going to be awesome. I hope Steven Segal features as his sidekick.
April Fools!
Please
So sad fiddy cent is going crystal scull fuck the middle east?! Amazing! Truly amazing!
Sweet merciful lord... why?
Sorry, i don't have any money for you guys. How about this NATIONAL TREASURE?!!?? I don't really need it.
Why are people finding the plot that hard to believe? It's honestly not that far fetched people......
...... sorry press the enter key by mistake, anyway if you think that games like FF7 are emotional and silent hill is complicated or that psychonauts has great characters has great characters and writing this game is for you .......wow now i felt bad for mentioning psychonauts in there, such game should not be mention next to this game.
Pimping up with the Jones's?
That's a lot of so's..
crystal skull?
how about empty skull....
Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!
For true?
I seriously just LOL'd. The title is ridiculous, and I can't believe the person being interviewed felt they actually had to explain it. I swear a 6th grade boy could write a better story, in fact I say we get Mr. Mini-Bash to submit a 50 Cent Story.
My God, this has to be somewhere on the Mayan calendar. Somewhere near the end.
Man, this one time, I too, was left without skull.
Hey, Shaq Fu had a crazy story, and it turned out alright.
i'm buying this game day 1
This is a total waiste of programming skills and man hours.
Man, lolocaust
Giant Bling Skull to wear around his neck.
Kanye couldn't pull that off.
Daft Punk.
@pandafresh: Nobody could write a better story, and it is folly to believe elsewise.
@seafisch: Funny, but he doesn't write his own music.
@Xander:
XDDD
@Arttemis: That's exactly what I though when I first read this!
How does fifty cent dies if he bullet proof, Knives?
Why? Just why?
Indiana Jones: FIDDY CENT STYLE!!
There was an article on Saturday asking if gaming needs writers. A question has never been answered as thoroughly as this one has. The answer is: yes. Oh sweet Jesus tap dancing Christ yes.
Hey Fifty, why can't you do us all a favor and go fight in Iraq for us?
And there's no black person on this whole fucking planet who would go to the Middle East to do a concert.
I can't wait to hear the voice acting for this game... "Durka lurka!"
GTA IV can go home, game of the year '08 has arrived.
Better than this horrible trite called "Isle of Quel'Danas" that blizzard is shoving down our throat.
APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i mean, april fool's day? somebody please say something!
-crickets-
fine be that way guys!
-performs pile driver on self-
ouch!
wow, that was the most idiotic thing i ever heard. it sounds like satire, but its not.