Kotaku
Where I Get My Lazy From
Comment by: bgordon
Nominated by: Pretty much everyone
Well Mike, you little ingrate. Who brought you into the world, fed you, sent you to school (when I could find you)and paid for your ROTC Candy when you ate it all and didn't have the money to pay for it yourself? Who plugged in the hole you drilled between the bedroom and the bathroom so you could spy on the cute babysitter while she was in the shower? Who just smiled with tears in her eyes when the one class you passed was the "wrong bowling course" and you didn't get credit for it. Who spent half her time rescuing your cat from you and clearing all the moldy hot dogs out of your underwear drawer? Who went to all the trouble of hiding all your Christmas Presents under your own bed because she wanted you to be surprised on Christmas and knew the on place you would never look was under that bed? Does this sound like lazy to you?You, my dear, perfected the "Art of Laziness" all by your own little self. It was cultivated, not inherited. I find it endearing, especially now that you are not living with me anymore.
Yesterday I left your apartment with a tear in my eye, heart softened by your attention. I walked on air grateful to be able to, for once, share things you like to do. It made me feel special, Mike. Sort of like the time you gave me a half eaten bag of M$M's for Mothers' Day.
By the way...if you had put the right picture up I would have looked a lot slimmer and much younger and also been holding the control the right way.
Ahhhhh that felt good. Now that I can log in be sure that I will return. Have to go and find your baby book. Lots of material there. Love, Mom
Chile's Bi-Sexual, Orgy Having Pokemones
Comment by: DeLoRtEd1
Nominated by: VeritasVierge
A wild Alejandro appears!Alejandro used Harden!
Bianca used Body Slam! It's super effective!
Alejandro used String Shot!
Bianca is poisoned!
The Orange Box Patched for PS3
Comment by: ExplodingKayNine
Nominated by: Polywhirl
I'm glad I play PC games, so I don't have to put up with the hassle of patches and updates.
CSI Game Uses Cell Phone Calls to Play
Comment by: Erwin
Nominated by: superbabyproject
Vegas? What about Miami? I hate CSI, but I was hoping David Caruso would give you your daily crappy one-liner.
Looks like they... *puts on glasses* got the wrong number.
Yeaaaahhhhh! [guitar]
UK 360 Sales Spike 40 Percent
Comment by: excel_excel
Nominated by: Dakota G.
Customer "One Wii Please!"
Gamestop Empolyee "Were out of Wii's"
Customer "oh dang!"
Gamestop Empolyee "What about the arcade 360 its 270 euro just like the wii"
Customer "yeah but its not the wii is it?"
Gamestop Empolyee "look at it, its white and shiny"
Customer "yeah but I think I'd rather buy a w.."
Gamestop Empolyee "BUY THE FUCKING ARCADE 360 ASSHOLE!"
GT5 Prologue Goes Platinum in Europe
Comment by: deathbunny
Nominated by: John-irl
@BigPete7978: it's not only because they've done some things differently, and they don't want to get involved in an arguement about whether they should have made the changes or not, or whether it's too arcadey, or not nearly too arcadey enough, or whatever else. In addition, the time their ex-NASA scientists are spending modeling the behavior of a suspension spring at various temperatures and altitudes has left their investors wondering 'wtf' and 'bbq', so I think they've released a first-draft of every car in the entire world throughout the span of human history, and 50 years into the future, when the 2nd coming finally happens, and cars become iron-maiden like coffins for sinners.you know. Incomplete, but a great morsel to tide us over until they figure out how to deal with the problem of quantum indeterminancy in rare instances of tachyon interceptions within a supercharger. Obviously, this requires hooking a dodge viper up to a SCUBA system, and running it flat out, under 8 million gallons of purified water deep inside the earth. If it turns out that spontaneous proton decay is measurable, and real, then they have to account for that in the performance curve.
Want to nominate comments? Send to tips any insightful or funny comments you read from other commenters. (Read: NOT YOURSELF). Be sure to include the post's URL, the commenter's page, the actual comment and your commenter page.
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Comments
I thought that first comment was an editor's note and got really confused @_@
Fahey. Dude. Excellent hole making idea!
God, remind me never to piss off Fahey's Mom. That woman's brain is like a freaking rolodex. I'm freaking scared of her and she isn't even my mother. Scaaaaaary.
Hehe. Still chuckling at KayNine's.
And it was so nice of Mike's mom to reply.
...and he doesn't even follow her.
What was the first comment all about, sombody tell me please, i always want to know about angry moms screaming on the internet.....wait..nvm
@dmitsuki: Click on the link about the post.
That was great stuff. Good week. Man Fahey your mom owns on 5 different levels. That was amazing stuff. HOt dogs in your draw? :/
First comment got me confused as well, till I got to the end, then I read it over again laughing.
Awesome.
who puts hot dogs in an underwear door? and why would they?
what the hell were you doing with hot dogs in your underwear drawer fahey???stuffing them?
faheys mom should get a star.fuck that 2 stars.
@Balance_In_Life (PSN):all moms have a rolodex up there, dads on the other hand they forget everything.
Your mother, I love her. She is amazing.
excel_excel, you did well, even made me laugh, but Fahey's mom wins.
Damn somehow I missed the awesome post by Fahey's mom. I'm following her comments now; if she has to lay smack down again I ain't missing it!
lol, that's not his mom.
@DaiMacculate: Dude, you got a Star! Congrats! You totally deserve it.
Now, all we need are stars for Enigma, Dv8, Irish, Insidious, Insomnia, Papabear, Ceiling, and Okenny to get one, and we'll be set. They'll never need to give stars again.
Hoooooooooly shit I got nominated!I feel very special..
@Polywhirl: Um dude you forgot Mike's mom shes only made 2 comments and she already has most of us ussual Kotakuites beaten.
@mossberg:
"Muddy Hot Dog's"
poo stained underwear...not that hard to figure out :(
Hmm.... Pardon if I sound like a noob, but I can't find it anywhere... How do you nominate comments? There were a few last week I wanted to nominate but couldn't figure out how...
@Makoto: Send an email to tips@kotaku.com with a link to the comment, your profile, and probably a quoted cut-paste of the comment just for good measure.
Congrats to all who made it into this weeks "week in comments!"
@DaiMacculate: Ah... I was under the impression there was some hidden icon or something I was missing. Okay, thanks a lot. ^^
@Polywhirl: I appreciate the endorsement.
@Witzbold: Hey, it was the Pokemon's idea, not mine.
@Polywhirl: Good nominate, that was easily the most mind blowing comment I've ever seen on this site. XD
I wish he'd comment again so we could get more feedback on his true intentions behind the comment. Whether it was sarcastic or not, it was damned hilarious.
I love Mrs. Fahay's use of capitalization and punctuation. By comparison, my mother doesn't even know how to turn on the computer and my father keeps caps lock on AT ALL TIMES. It's seeing comments like hers that restore faith in my mind that yes, somewhere out there, there's someone over the age of 50 who knows the correct way to type on a keyboard.
Ashcraft, is she the new editor Crecente's been alluding to hiring but has been keeping us in the dark about? Please say "yes"! :3
Fahey's mom made this an epic week in comments.
It's too bad he didn't reply to that one...
Deathbunny wins.
Being an engineer and a huge science nerd, John-irl's comment absolutely slays me.
Nice work.
@Bruce Skillis: I'm retarded, I mean deathbunny's
That's not his mom -_-
internet people are so gullible
What happens when a mom joke becomes a joke by your mom?
Universe FAIL
lol mom
I do not find the Gamestop one amusing.
Ah Dakota G., thank you for reminding me of what shopping at GAME is like.
@thejakeman: probably disagrees with you: Actually it is my mom. Bonnie Gordon. Stepfather's last name, but still the woman who shot me from her womb nearly 35 years ago. I was moving and without internet when she posted that, and she drove me crazy telling me to check Kotaku.
IN MY DEFENSE!
It was only 2 hotdogs, and they were wrapped in foil for several months.
The babysitter was a fashion model making money on the side, so the hole was completely justified.
And I passed the wrong bowling course AND honors English. Dammit.
And she did indeed hide my Christmas present under my bed, and it was an NES. I slept for a month with an NES under my bed and never noticed. She would actually come into my room, tell me to clean out from under my bed, and I would lie and say I did.
And as for the half-eaten bag of M&Ms....I was really hungry. It was the thought that counted!
*sighs*
@Kenofthedead:
Oddly enough I've only ever seen them try and substitute products for parents and the like, anyone who's not sure why they're in there really. I think most of them realise that the majority of people want what they came in for.
*sniff* I can't believe I was nominated, thank you very much Dakota G!
I took my inspiration from a real life moment in gamestop srsly
@Mike Fahey: Jeez why couldn't have my babysitters have been fashion models on the side who took showers in my house....your mom fucking rocks!
@hrunting: Fahey's mom is THE week in comment! I know when I'm beat!
@Kenofthedead:
Yah thats me, i forgot to submit my profile with the suggestion.
oh wells
noob mistake.
congrats everyone.
Erwin:
I'm a happier person for the fact that you made that joke.
Why would the babysitter shower at YOUR house?
Fahey's Mom FTW! Someone give that woman a star.
@CaptLtrl: You'd be surprised at how many girls do that. Growing up, I always told my friends if they were babysitting any boys 10 or older, not to shower or even dress change at the kids' homes. I also noted it went for any teenage boy they weren't close friends with. My warning came from experience when I thought I could simply change with no trouble since I was coming in straight from field hockey practice. A warning my friends never took seriously until the movie American Pie came out.
@CaptLtrl: Because she was watching us when my parents went out of town, for a whole week.
@Mike Fahey: you actually drilled a hole in the bedroom and bathroom????
@NightMystic: your talking about FAHEY here, the legend? you know?
:p
@NightMystic: Actually the batrooms were adjoining, so I drilled a hole from the top of the shower in my bathroom to the wall of the one she was using.
Then before my parents got home I took a snippet of the bathroom wallpaper from a lower location and pasted it over the hole.
I was 13 at the time? Maybe 12. I was driven.
@Mike Fahey: a fiendishly devised plan!
The top post was amazing. hahaha
I go to one concert and miss my first Multi-Tap? Dang it. Thanks superbabyproject.
@WreckTheLaw: Thanks. If I knew Fahey's mom even made that comment I wouldn't have bothered even logging in for the rest of the week.
@thejakeman: probably disagrees with you:
@thejakeman: probably disagrees with you:
i love that you had to tell us all that we were wrong TWICE, just to be proven wrong. it made me chuckle.
this week's multi-tap was great! i like the Pokemon(e) one ;)
Oh man the one about PC games not having to worry about patching xD
Fahey's Mom.....so awesome.
It's good to know that win is an inherited trait.