Kotaku
Usually I avoid the maximum risky posts that our night editors love so much (mostly because I don't start drinking until later in the day so my mommy issues are still fully repressed). But this Cortana model just had to grace our page asap. I4U's model of the month, we'd tell you her real name...but that would kinda spoil it, no? Hit the jump for some quasi-NSFW shots, depending on your company's standpoint on body paint and Smurf-toned nudity.
Hit the link for the full gallery. Except for you. Yeah, you. You don't even own a 360 so you're just a pervert.
I4U Model Gallery [I4U]
Comments
Ahhhhh, you caught me out.
:D
Is this canon?
Cool. I can honestly say that this looks awesome, but not in a perverted way.
i'm not a pervert. i'm just an AI enthusiast
Really?
I mean, really?
Uhh... yeah... she just looks creepy in the second pic. And I feel creepy for saying "YAY! NO POINTING FISH!"
I can't wait to get my 360 back for this new downloadable content!
I like the first but the second is a bad shot.
I give a low score 10 on the 1 to 100 Risky Meter, tut tut.
If loving blue women without any discrenable anatomy is wrong... I don't want to be right.
What!? Maximum risky? But... but it is still daytime! I'm liking this change in pace!
Fap fap fap fap fap fap. There, Someone was doing it, i added in the sound effects.
Meh. Cortana can't hold a Covenant Plasma Rifle. She's a hologram!
Now, come back and show me the blue gal from Mass Effect...mmmm.
Is it just me, or is that plasma rifle really big?
How she holding a gun? What kind of ......
Bloobs! Put up your free hand if this reminds you of Zahn out of Farscape ;)
Nice....but what the hell is that gun...looks like two dolphins stuck together.
Hmm.
That's all I got for this one. Hmm.
@PatMan33:
It's night somewhere buddy.
The plasma rifles look to nerfish.
Um, don't get me wrong, she is not unattractive by any means. Just that...well...if (virtually) I had to choose a sci-action alien heroine, it would be Liara or Sha'ira from Mass Effect.
@Temperature:
It's not the size of the plasma rifle the counts... but how you use it.
@Poffy: nominated for multitap.
@Kyle81: And you know you have reached the depths of Nerddom when you worry more about the imposibility of her holding a gun rather than admire her beauty :P
Indeed my crush on blue women has been affirmed once more.......cortana...the alien from mass effect....smurfett....
ugh this is really crappy photoshop work. The lighting is all wrong on the guns and box. All they did was increase contrast and made the image monochromatic with a blue and then a darker blue overlay for the patterns with a lower opacity to keep the highlights. Its maybe 40 minutes of work per image.
Something about the airbrushing on her crotch is so off... You'd figure the artist would be more into his work than that crappy job.
Mm-Hmmm....I wouldn't mind if she went Rampant all up in my logic core, if you know what I mean...no you probably don't, but lets just say that was Hot, ok?
Wow ugh. she looks like someone smeared her with blue feces. Nice stickiness going on there. BLGhhgegh. Then again i'm the type of guy that thinks putting naked chicks in mud is just unattractive.
i think they captured cortana's image pretty well.
plasma rifle aside.
wonderful thing about hologram sex is that you can stick it ANYWHERE...
This is minimum risky compared to the results of a google image search of "cortana." (Yes safesearch was turned off)
Dual Shock-ing!
*freezes*
erm........erm....how you know?
*wii-note flops from hand*
oh....
dammn.
>_>
she isnt naked... unless that model has no nipples.
@PatMan33:
Just wait for nighttime.
is she really trying to blow powder out of a plasma pistol?
@exo: nipples are easy to photoshop out
Needs moar reproductive organs.
im buying a 360 tomorrow k?
This is pretty cool and bit scary for me at the same time.
Piff, Guilty Spark 343 is so much hotter than Cortana. ...What?
That gun was featured in a prior story. It is a real product used for laser tag. Not photo shopped.
Kinda reminds me of Mystique.
Expecting something faptacular, but turned out to be a complete turn off by the simple fact that Cortana cant hold plasma rifles.
I soon became repulsed by her because shes clearly blowing the barrell, but a plasma rifle both overheats and expels smoke on the frame.
Plus cruddy photoshop is cruddy.
Pro Tip: When appealing to even the slightest of geeks, unless the female(s) has geekish tendencies, fuck the cosplay route and just do a nude photoshoot...I've been coding all day, I just wanna see some PUSSY!
Who needs a gun when you got CLEAVAGE.
Guns don't kill people, WOMEN with guns kill people!
Wow, well I have to say that's more tasteful than I expected
Ohhh... this all makes sense now. I thought it said "Contra."
.... But then why would I click it?(!)
Oh yeah, I also saw "Naked."
Now all you guys saying it's crap are totally full of it. You know you'd hit it, even in the blue costume. I know I would.
OMFG MASTERCHIEF NAKED LOLZ
Looks to me like she's wearing some sort of top to cover her breasts, and some sort of bikini bottom.
I like the illusion, though. That's much better than some other jobs I've seen.
Somewhere, someone is masturbating to this and my faith in the human race decreases exponentially.
Can someone do this for SHODAN? Please?
@-MoarPlz-:
somewhere, someone theorized about "takes one to know one..."
I can't wait till some of these fanboy's bitching about "she's a hologram she can't hold gunz0rz!!11" finally get a girl, then make them retreat when they yell at them for calling a phaser a "Blaster".
@DasKonstruct: i was thinking the same, it was a rushed work ...
@Datalock: You take life to seriously
So, what, Cortana's AI profile is usually stored inside an Atari joystick?
@Cutriss:
Actually Cortana in Chief's Skull half the time....
That gun looks so lame. I like halo in all but always found Bungies design to be weak.
Definitely more photoshop work than body paint.
Hm. Sadly, I must give this the "meh."
Come on hawt female Halo fans, you can do better than this! Show this chick how it's done. And send me the URL.
@Slatz_Grobnik: Arrgghh! The fear!
If thats not photoshop, it is body-suit. "How do you know?" I hear you ask. I've yet to hear of body paint that removes nipples.
She looks awfully slimey, and in a ghostbusters kinda way, not a mud wrestling good way.
though she is quite a purty model (it's the boobies!)
@Ghede:
Body paint, uh, acid...
@UntouchableC:
Or atleast get the details right? Since that's what the bulk of your post deals with. :)
@tsukihimeblood: Nice one. Almost goes with the Avatar.
XD