Kotaku
Comics are terribly unfunny by default. Germans too. But this recent Halo-themed cartoon by German artist Marunde in the magazine "Hörzu" is so godawful, so bereft of comedy, we're thinking that whomever is responsible for issuing the world's humor licenses should revoke Germany's. Reader Max, who was nice enough to send in this black hole of laughter, translates for us.
Woman: "...Our new neighbor supposedly works at a company that develops videogames."
Man: "He definitely has a cool SUV/off-road vehicle."
What.
If any of our readers who sprechen some Deutsch can help us figure out why this was deemed remotely funny by anyone, we'd definitely appreciate it. And if you can rewrite this particular comic, coming up with something that makes us laugh, we'll see if we can make it worth your while.
Comments
It's funny in a bad way, like...Plan 9...except less. Maybe.
Although, you'd think they'd make it a warthog :/
Plan 9 rawked! :D
Yeah, that one fails pretty hard.
maybe he meant to draw a warthog but said f*ck it and drew a banshee.
'cause it would kiiiiinda make sense if it was a warthog.
but 'make sense' and 'funny' are far apart.
They are lucky they did not publish a photo of a clown riding a bike holding a red balloon, that really leaves most Germans in stitches...
The ONLY thing i like about this is... Its very well drawn!
This is supposed to be funny in the way those cartoons in the back of Boy's Life were supposed to be funny. You know... someone actually got paid to draw that? Someone else actually paid to publish that?
I'm not german, but I think it should be translated more like this:
Woman: "...Our new neighbor supposedly works at a company that develops videogames."
Man: "At least he gets to drive a cool vehicle."
Woman : Mandy says the new guy comes from some place called 'New Membosa'
Man : Just don't look at him sweet heart, just don't look at him.
Hell, I tried. And I don't play Halo so I may have the name wrong.
The comic was terrible, on the other hand the joke is so bad that it tricks you into thinking its funny.
Master Chief Came back Home!!! :D
@SynKade: *New Mombasa.
Very good guess for never playing though :]
The German language itself is funny... can't you guys see that??
Germans have an odd sense of humor. Take the British sense of humor and add repressed guilt from 40 years of failed imperialist/national socialist rule/conquest and there ya go.
I kid. Gently, I kid.
As a speaker of German (at the second-grade level, admittedly), this joke doesn't get funny. I guess you just really gotta have a German mindset.
Then again, perhaps it's a comic written by a non-gamer which would, in any language, be horridly unfunny.
@StopTheOncoming: Meant that to Synkade >.<@
lmao i get it! its hilarious.
Oh - and by my gentle teasing joke above, I kindly ask that Germany not invade me. Thanks.
I agree with Lone-Gun. One of those so bad jokes it makes you laugh for a different reason.
It's misstranslated.
Well banning every game with a drop of blood has obviously done wonders for the German sense of humour.
Germans are characteristically unfunny also... I don't think I've ever seen a funny German comic.
Well it's funny because, like, he's working on halo right? So he's got this big flying thing right? And, well, thats probably as far as it goes. He obviously wasn't trying very hard on this one.
Or a joke that is, in fact SO FUNNY that if any of us were to get it we would literally die.
Unless of course this is some subtle comment on the political climate in germany. Because, like, the banshee represents Merkel right...?
Well you could say it as "At any rate he has a cool SUV" and it's not as bad.
You see friends, it's meta-humour. It's a joke that makes fun of unfunny jokes which in turn makes it funny. Perhaps for the cartoon the artist will take on meta-meta-humour, or a joke that makes fun of purposfully unfunny jokes that take jabs at unintentional unfunny jokes.
C'mon Kotaku, the next competition should be about about making this joke funny.
Man: Look! There's our new neighbor! Let's show him some hospitality.
Woman: I'm waaaay ahead of you.
Woman: Oh look, it's that Master Chief guy again. Well, at least he's wearing pants today.
Man: Gladys you hideous troll, I want a divorce.
Good god....it's German family circus.
the artist is called Wolf-Rüdiger Marunde. we get the tv-magazin Hörzu. it's always the last page and the jokes are pretty lame every time. maybe it's just humor that "real adults" think it's funny.
How about:
"Why isn't our neighbor leaving town, doesn't he watch the news?"
"Yeah, you'd think he'd of heard about the flood that's coming!"
woman: our neighbor is staring at me again. why can't he control his lust for a middle aged woman?
man: just ignore him, baby, we don't know what might be in that briefcase.
I speak German natively and grew up there. This joke is fucking horrible. It is NOT funny. Then again, people say Germans don't have a sense of humour. Which this case proves in two ways: 1. I don't find this funny, 2. The people who wrote the joke didn't know what funny is.
Also, @ElGatoMalo: Your ass is mine. PREPARE TEH PANZERS!
wow its so bad that its funny
Woman: That new neighbor of ours continues to ignore our Home Owner Association guidelines. Look, his Banshee is parked partly on the sidewalk. I have half a mind to say something...
Man: Dear, unless you want a plasma grenade up your tailpipe, I'd keep quite about it.
My entry.
Woman: Do you think he'll fit into the neighbourhood?
Man: Why not, he lives with a Banshee, just like the rest of us.
I am german, and no this is not our sense of humor. Maybe its because the usual hörzu-reader (its a tv-guide) doenst know halo, but I can just shake my head. Its just as bad as its sounds...
@Cruithne: Not bad!
@rdj: You hit the nail on the head. Commics don't have to be funny. The Family Circus is proof.
Woman: Dammit! That man has got to go! He scares the children and is lowering out property values!
Man: Don't be so harsh dear. Cosplayers are people too, you know.
Might be meant as anti-humor.
(For example: "A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. After an uneventful evening, they returned to their respective homes.")
@Fadobo: Agreed. I'd say we have plenty of terrible video game comics in the States as well. Plus we have family circus. So that's already sin enough.
"Harold, why don't you buy me one of those?"
"Because you're a fat bitch, and I hate you. Also, you're German."
ok i got new lines for it
possibly unfunny(highly likely)
woman:see stan he has the money to compensate for his short comings
man:hey id be more packed if i didnt have to sleep with you.
TA-DA! ok ill leave now
Is this from Penny Arcade? :D
Her: He says he's here to stop the alien invasion.
Him: Great. Another one of those overzealous Minutemen obsessed with illegal immigration...
Woman: Is that master chief?
Man: Forget about that! We still need to decide what we're going to bring to our posh European rave party because we are German!
lolwut
The comic I drew in 4th grade is funnier than that.
Woman: Is that him?
Man: Shhh. Dont make eye contact or he might teabag you too.
@Cruithne: Wow! Nice!
I might try to turn this into an informal contest. Keep 'em coming (because I have a ton of swag I need to dump... errr gift!)
@Cruithne: Hah, you actually managed it. Well played sir.
Camilla: I say Charles, this acid is frightfully potent. I'll never be fit for tea with Mumsy.
Charles: *mumbling and drooling* Fuck King, I want to be Master Chief...
(for those that don't know, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles - British Royals - the images are an *uncanny* likeness)
He flies a Samus helmet.
Woman: "Since Master Chief finished the fight I guess he has to work just like everyone else now."
Man: "That prick still owes me for highjacking my car and running