I'm sick of Rock Band updates that don't appeal to me (recent news of Faith No More notwithstanding). Sick of boring, repetitive songs from big-name bands. Sick of the number of songs offered that, you know...fail to do as advertised: namely rock. So I figured I'd go one better than the usual "oh I wish it had more Iron Maiden" I see in every Rock Band post comments section and put this together. Here, then, is my totally biased, totally objective, totally exhaustive list of tracks that could and should be featured in future Rock Band DLC updates.

The main prerequisite for making this list? The song had to rock. And in the case of the ones that don't necessarily rock (B.B. King, for example), they're there to break things up, like Guitar Hero I did so successfully with Stevie Ray Vaughn and Bowie. Also, I tried (and failed) to go for artists not previously featured in either Guitar Hero or Rock Band, and artists that may be a little less known than the big-label, big-name bands that we normally get 3-4 times a month. Finally, I tried (and again failed...with individual explanations below) to make sure every song was varied and interesting to play, not just listen to.

The Melvins - "Honey Bucket"

Clutch - "Burning Beard"

B.B. King - "The Thrill Is Gone"

Mastodon - "March Of The Fire Ants"

Quiet Riot - "Cum On Feel The Noize"

Van Halen - "Hot For Teacher"

The Surfaris - "Wipe Out"

Slayer - "War Zone"

Queen - "We Will Rock You"
Note: Little drummer-heavy, yes, but its value as a party song more than outweighs this.

Soundgarden - "Jesus Christ Pose"

Unsane - "Scrape"

Kyuss - "Whitewater"
Note: Not the real video, obviously, since there isn't a real video. Probably best suited for a game-ending, Freebird-esque experience.

The Bronx - "History's Stranglers"
Note: NSFW

Judas Priest - "You've Got Another Thing Comin"

Jon Bon Jovi - "Blaze of Glory"
Note: I once won a karaoke competition singing this. For real.

Refused - "New Noise"

Anthrax - "Antisocial"

Hey, Harmonix? These suggestions come totally free.

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