You've seen the official list of the million-selling Wii titles, straight from Nintendo itself, but The Onion weighs in with its own list of platinum hits for the waggle-box. Can't say any of these really surprise us, but we didn't know Wisdom Tree was back publishing games for a Nintendo platform. And we simply can't wait to play Throw The Thing At The Thing. Sounds throw-arrific!
Top-Selling Nintendo Wii Titles [The Onion]

















Comments
The guy under Onan The Barbarian looks exactly like me!
LOL! This is why I love the Onion.
Screw you guys I'm holding out for "Super Gay Tennis"
Mario competing in the same league as princess peach, you know its going to happen.
That other list wasn't an official million seller list. It was an official first party list. If it was an official list Mario and Sonic Special Olympics game would have been listed.
"Throw the Thing at the Thing" for GOTGOTY '08!
Onan the Barbarian is a pretty great game, but for some reason they didn't implement multiplayer...
lol.... "Throw the thing at the thing"
Virtual Babysitter is pretty low. I thought all M-rated games count as that now... My mistake.
I probably bought about five copies of 'Throw The Thing At The Thing' myself. It should've been the sleeper hit for GOTY, screw any of that Mario or BioShock nonsense. COD4? It shure as hell doesn't have enough thing throwing for my tastes.
Super Gay Tennis is way underrated.
rofl Super Gay Tennis' my fav...lol
This is really what I believe in.
I'm actually surprised that Virtual Babysitter beat out "Self-Love Trainer 2007".
Pun absolutely intended.
Super Gay Tennis, isn't that packed in with every Wii?
They forgot " Random Selection of Mini-Games Packaged With Wii-Mote ". That game rocks!
I'm anxiously awaiting Super Mario Kite. I hear it's got the tanooki string...
@DigitalHero: Oh DH, how witty you are!
question for "Throw The Thing At The Thing" does anyone know how to beat the last boss?
So you have Super Gay Tennis...but how is this different than Table Tennis?
just a Little Gay Table Tennis, maybe?
Yay, someone not completely bowing to the Wii! Also I hear good things about the Mario Kite Runner movie.
Personally, I'm interested in Yoshi's Wholly Inaccurate Hockey.
Micheal Jackson for the Virtual Babysitter and you got yourself the perfect chart!
I'm a pro at Super Gay Tennis!
@el goose: I won't spoil it for everybody, but it involves throwing. Good luck!
Onan the Barbarian is the best.
I'm guessing this is supposed to be a joke?
Wow, I guess I'm the only one that doesn't think it's even remotely funny. Just...well...gay
As in stupid not homo
@Mr. Dark E:
Pfft. You evidently haven't played Virtual Babysitter. Michael has his own touching is good mini-game.
You know what's funny?
Mario Kite probably will happen. Nintendo might as well take Mario and fixate him into another spin off
Okay, the sarcasm cup overfloweth.
Seriously, I would probably spend actual money - and a good chunk of it, too - on Yoshi's Wholly Inaccurate Hockey. I loves me some hockey.
Mario Kite is the best use of the rotund plumber yet!
@FunKrusher:
Humor relies on a degree of truth. In this case, this is funny because it is %100 true. Why don't you look at the Wii library and try to argue it. There's a cooking game. Wow.
I am really kind of sad to see that "You cannot play this game until you change the batteries" did not make the list. I was really pulling for that one, as it is one of my favs on the system. I have never before experienced such realistic battery changing on a home console before... Sometimes I pretend I am in a pit crew and the batteries are like tires for the car and I try to see how fast I can change them. I have never been so immersed!
I'm surprised "Boring World War 2 Shooter" didn't make the list.
I can't wait to see this list next year. "Stand on a Thing" is going to be #1.
They forgot to mention "shoot that thing on the screen" game!! that's my all time fav. and "move your thing to that place and jump" man this chart sucks
@FunKrusher: I am confused as to why you _don't_ think this is funny.
I would play Mario Kite.
seriously
I would.
Nintendo's R&D department are copyrighting these titles as we speak.
@njhardcoreguy: WOW! No way! A cooking game? Christ! Anything but that!
@PearceShea: Obviously because he likes to crush fun.
Hahaha! This is exactly the impression that many WII games leave me with! Personal favs: Super Gay Tennis (classic) and Throw the Thing at the Thing (I'm still laughing)!
I love the Onion. They're so witty.
In Konamunist Russia Wiimote throws you at a thing!
I love the faces on the Super Gay Tennis and Mario Kite guy. I've never seen someone so unhappy to be on a chart!
@Ampillion : Now with 50% more LJ gaming blog.:
I didn't say it like it's a terrible thing. I said it like it's a bland thing... which is the entire point of this posting. Good attempt at sarcasm though.
@Ampillion : Now with 50% more LJ gaming blog.: Spoilers!!
Hilarious! That pretty sums up the Wii xD
Super Gay Tennis, Mario Kite, lol. What's next, a cooking game and a game where a fat italian plumber goes to space? Oh yeah...
@jMonken: "Stand on a Thing" -- LOL
My problem with Throw the Thing at the Thing is that it looks decidedly last gen. That and why do I have to press A to throw something at something else instead of just doing a throwing motion with the Wiimote? Another case of great idea for a game ruined by bad controls. I'm going to wait for Throw the Thing at the Thing 2.
They clearly aren't counting pre-orders because if they did "Resident Evil: Fly Fishing" would have at least taken third place.
While it wasn't a great game I did like the statutory rape mini game in Virtual Babysitter where you have to use the Wiimote to point to the spot on the doll where the babysitter touched you as a kid.
They didn't include the cult classic: Shake the Wii-mote.
It's a realistic simulation of you shaking the wii-mote.
This is obviously a Canadian lits because a hockey game was on the list and not FB. Nobody should forget the blockbuster title 'Baby's Best Football: wii Madden'. I think that sold more than those games did.
@rawg:
"Stand on a Thing" won't sell well in America. It has a 300lb weight limit.
I must be an idiot cause I don't get it...
I am sad that there aren't more onanism jokes.