"Oh screw it, I'm going."

Stop encouraging him!

God NO!

Don't give it a penny this weekend. I feel so sorry for the saps wandering innocently into the theater to see an action movie with magic missles. Emergency rooms will be full tonight!

KK

There are actually posters for this movie inside every Montreal subway car. WHY?????????????????????????????????

Aw, thanks for quoting a Canadian critic, Fahey! He's a great reviewer. Oh, and he pulled Burt Reynold's dying line from the movie too in that review:
"Wisdom is our hammer; goodness will be our nail."

I'm just... okay, that analogy is lame... but what are they nailing? It should say:
"Wisdom is our hammer; goodness will be our nail; this line of dialogue, our coffin."

I think exporting Uwe's movies is Germany's way of trying to start WWIII

I hear that Boll purposely makes bad films because of some legal loophole in the system that will allow him to profit if the movie tanks.

@dunetiger: Certainly not inspired by the Producers, ay?

@dunetiger: originally yes, but they closed up the Boll loophole for specifically this reason. For a while there though it was like a real life version of The Producers.

Whats scary though is while they tank here, Bolls films do insanely well in the Eastern Bloc countries now.

@dunetiger: That's like from The Producers, where the main characters make a certified Broadway flop to exploit a tax loophole to make them rich. If what you say is true, I'll kill myself laughing.

Seriously, that picture, it's like Matrix day at Medieval Times.

I think Uwe Boll could possibly be this generation's Ed Wood.

@dunetiger: That's actually only half-true. He does have a legal loophole as his production company is headquartered in Germany, so he gets tax incentives and compensation for making films under certain conditions, therefore if the movie tanks, he doesn't lose any money. However, he still attempts to make movies that he would personally enjoy. That's his entire goal, from what I can deduce. Plus, since this loophole only prevents his company from losing any money, it would stand to reason that if he has a successive string of non-profitable films, the German government would stop supporting him. It wouldn't make sense that they continue to help fund movies from a diretor that never makes any money.

Finally its coming out! Funniest movie of the year to be sure but please Mr Boll, give us a European release this time unlike Bloodrayne.

"Oh screw it, I'm going. I'll let you know how it turns out if I don't die laughing."

So, since when have you been a masochist Mike? Do you want to talk about it?

It's a cheesy title if nothing else.

BAHAHAHA! From the article:

9 p.m. Big climax. Lots of action on lots of fronts. Beasties in the rain. Babes in the trees. Farmer in the castle. Editing in the dumpster. Looks like somebody keeps changing channels.

@ShirtNinja: actually i'd be more tempted to say roger corman or russ meyers, tho russ had a lot of boobies in his films, so i guess he wasn't that bad

tho the only one i'm not sure if it's good or bad is house of the dead, that type of movie is SUPPOSED to be bad, so technically speaking, it's probly the only good movie he's made, yayaya flame away but i do have a point for those that enjoy the zombie genre

@Tonx: Thanks for making me look like an arse at work, still giggling away :(

I kinda want to find out how awful it is, yet don't want to give the funding to encourage more of this drivel. So much conflict.

I'm sorry, but Ray Liotta just does not fit in a movie set in the Middle Ages. And it's PG-13, so Leelee Sobieski will not actually be naked. As if we needed reasons to avoid an Uwe Boll film.

I love the Globe, such a great Canadian news paper! very witty review on top of that as well. Time to kill another game to movie interpretation.

Sorry, Seafisch, partial nudity is allowed in PG-13 (Leelee could naked in bed as long as you don't see her genitals or full frontal exposure).

@holytramp:

Well, I'd encourage you to wait until it's on DVD and rent it, or buy a ticket to a better movie and sneak in.

If you're not familiar with Uwe's previous work, Alone in the Dark and BloodRayne 2 are his most hideous things to date. Haven't seen ITNOTK.

BloodRayne 2 is probably on the short list of the worst films of all time. Considering Boll's other films, that's saying A LOT.

I want to see it for naked Leelee Sobieski. But naked Liotta negates that. Also, as seafisch has pointed out, we won't see anything thanks to the PG-13 rating.

I also like Jason Stathome, so I feel kind of bad that he is in this.

Bollshit.

Anybody up for feeding Uwe to the lions?

@PapaBear434:

Not NAKED Stathome, though. I not what I meant. I think he is the next big action star out there (along with Dwayne "I refuse to call him The Rock" Johnson.)

Please don't spend a dime on this.

my sister just invited me to go tonight...hmmm, I do love me some B-Flicks...maybe this will eb just the flick to fill the need

It's like you can tell how bad it is from that one image ... it's just not set up right. It looks like a high school production.

@PapaBear434:

I think he is the next big action star out there...

I thought that, too, until I saw Transporter 2 last weekend. What a waste of a Blu-Ray. Thank goodness it was free.

I still don't understand how this guy keeps getting the funding to release these terrible game-based movies every 6 months. Does he have a fortune stashed away somewhere like the Count of Monte Cristo? God I hope not, for all our sakes.

How can Ray Liotta possibly top Goodfellas though :(
Too many good names in this production :(

For those curious...

Uwe Boll is still taking advantage of the tax law in Germany. Basically, the law in question, used to promote the german film industry, has a loophole that if you used a german production house, and the movie flopped, you could write off all expenses on your taxes while keeping whatever revenues were made on the film. This is how Uwe gets all his dirty money, and why producers continued to fund him, since it was basically a risk free investment.

He wants it to flop, as any "real profit" would go beyond the boundries of the law, in essene losing him and the investors money.

Now, the german government noticed that people were abusing this loophole and closed it at the begining of 2007. However, all films that were put into "PRE-PRODUCTION" before the new year and the revision would still be under the old law, and so what did Uwe do? He put multiple movies into pre-production at the end of 2006, two of them being Postal and Dungeon Siege, another one being Far Cry, and I would not be suprised if the other five or six movies he supposedly is working on were thrown into the pre-production stages just before the ball dropped at the end of 2006. He went from one movie now and then to nearly ten at once, its like he decided to stop trying to hide the real reason he does this.

He is a crook, plain and simple, that only wins because we hate him, and will win regardless of what we do. If we don't watch his movies, he gets rich, if we watch his movies, he gets rich.

@ScytheRexx:

Wow, if thats the case then he is a fucking genius. I still loathe him and the shit he creates but I gotta hand it to him, thats a pretty good racket he has going there.

I was wondering why this movie has been looking so bad...now I finally see Uwe is associated with it.

sword vs wooden spoon?

@ScytheRexx: Ahhh, I was wondering how these turds were still flying into theatres since I last I heard was that they fixed that law. Thanks for clarifying.

Well thank god for that. For a second there, I thought Hell had frozen over.

@gray665: Actually, I remember reading somwhere that he finances the films basically himself and unfortunately his movies usually do well on DVD so it wouldn't be too hard to get investors from a financial stand point.

@ScytheRexx: Now that, I had no idea about. And now, I gotta say... That bastard.

Its pretty funny, I think I read an interview half a year ago were Uwe said he was going to retire from the industry once all the movies he has in production now were finished... I WONDER WHY? Oh right...

If there is any good side to this, it means Uwe Boll has an expiration date.

whenever i hear uwe boll's name i can't help but wish he had actually fought seanbaby like he was meant to.

My wife and I have been joking about Liotta's appearance ever since the ads started airing non-stop. He's not even playing a character, he's the evil wizard Rayliotta.

@ShirtNinja: I'm pretty sure that Tommy Wiseau is this generations Ed Wood. He makes boll look like Spielberg. [www.imdb.com]

ok, i'm not going to pay theater prices to see this, but i'm definately going to get the dvd from netflix when it comes out (probably next week). and i'm getting it on BLU RAY, bitches. the horror of boll's stuff makes me laugh for hours and hours.

I've seen the commercials, but didn't know Uwe Boll was attached to the project. Honestly, even just from the adverts is looks retarded.

@ScytheRexx: Not true; I read the rumors and I've yet to see a single credible source proving this is the case. He is using a tax shelter (he has admitted to it), yes, but a loss on a movie is STILL a loss despite any shelter (I hope no one's still too stupid to believe otherwise!). It mitigates losses, but he does not MAKE money from failures.

Also, the real actual loophole was closed. Uwe Boll has nothing to do with it. The loophole was that American studios would have German "studios" buy movie rights for them and lease them for production, which would shelter the "leased" "investment" under the german law. This loophole was closed, yet Uwe still produces movies, so there. Uwe actually produces his own movies, with his German studio; this is exactly what the tax shelter wants to do; encourage the growth of the german movie industry.

@ScytheRexx:

That's just like in that movie called "The Producers". I can't believe people actually do this, and get away with it too. Upsetting.

I see everything with Statham in it, so this is getting my business. Also, I can for free because I got movie Cash for buying Transporter 2.

@ScytheRexx:

I'm just wondering how he manages to get this filth distributed at all. I've seen better straight-to-video movies that can't even hope of getting distribution, yet here's a guy purposely making bullshit getting all the distro he wants. Why is he allowed to continue?

@doubtful:

The movie wasn't great, but the action was top notch. I found the movie quite enjoyable as long as I turn off my brain and enjoy.

From the Montreal Film Journal: "Seriously, if I'd ran into Boll after the screening and he'd asked me what I thought of it, I would have punched him in the gut. "That's what I thought of your movie, you German bastard!""

See while I agree with his opinion, his approach is all wrong. Boll has shown us that he is of course a TERRIBLE film maker but he is one mean ass boxer.