See this picture? Learn it. Live it. Love it. That's how you really hold a drumstick. Or it's one way at least. Sometimes I prefer holding my sticks in the traditional style and pretending that I'm one of those Civil War drummers while rocking out to Maps.

The bottom line is that we're all going to look a bit douchey while playing Rock Band. But some of us can pretend that our alter egos (which only come out at night, btw) are hard rocking maniacs. You see, we only have those Rock Band drums sitting around because they can hold a boatload of coke (which we're out of because we snort it the instant we get it, btw), and they are the next best thing to our motorcycles (currently in the shop, btw) for fornication. Hit the link for three different, fully authorized ways to properly hold sticks.

UPDATE: We're sorry, apparently we linked an idiotic site. Out apologies. Here's another link, per someone who knows what they're talking about. And so you know, our band director is most ashamed.

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