Okay, now they are just flat out aping me. Seriously.

The elves mining Nintendo's vaults for classic games have unearthed three new ones to add to the Wii Shop Channel. They feature ragers, lasers and, um, monkeys not in cages. Anyway, it's unlikely that you've played all three of these, so go ahead and check 'em out. Or the elves will cry.

Okay, mysterious Nintendo PR writer. You win. I concede. You've taken my monkeys, you've taken my elves. I have nothing left, except these three new VC games.

Donkey Kong Country 2 - Diddy Kong's Quest (SNES - 800 Points): That's an awfully long title for the sequel to the original plastic cartoon monkey game. As I've said before, if cartoon monkeys' have an uncanny valley, this series nails it.

Streets of Rage 2 (Genesis - 800 Points): Sequel to the classic beat-em up, insert long, convoluted and ultimately unnecessary storyline here. It's Streets of Rage, only 1 better.

Blazing Lazers (TGFX16 - 600 Points): Best damn shooter on the TurboGrafx, if not best game overall. I used to sit outside the electronics store at the mall and watch the demo of this game run for hours, until that one security guard would come and throw me out for flicking cigarette ashes in the plants. Screw that guy, Blazing Lazers kicks ass.

Kind of surprised mysterious Nintendo PR person hasn't started writing snappy outros as well. Eventually I won't have to type anything at all. I'll just sit here and wait for the next Nin-PR email to pop up, copy and paste. Hmph. Michael Fahey

WII-KLY UPDATE: THREE NEW CLASSIC GAMES ANNOUNCED FOR WII SHOP CHANNEL

May 21, 2007

The elves mining Nintendo's vaults for classic games have unearthed three new ones to add to the Wii Shop Channel. They feature ragers, lasers and, um, monkeys not in cages. Anyway, it's unlikely that you've played all three of these, so go ahead and check 'em out. Or the elves will cry.

The three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

Donkey Kong Country 2™: Diddy's Kong Quest™ (SNES®, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): In the sequel to the immensely popular Donkey Kong Country™, Diddy Kong® gets the spotlight, along with his girlfriend, Dixie Kong™ - a great little monkey with a dangerous ponytail. The action starts on the wreck of King K. Rool's Gangplank Galleon that has apparently broken up on a reef offshore from the Kremlings' Island. Diddy and his friends will have to work together to rescue Donkey Kong®, exploring all the hidden areas of the Kremlings' island: a spooky haunted forest, treacherous swamps, a giant beehive oozing with sticky honey and lava-filled caves, just to name a few.

Streets of Rage™ 2 (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): To celebrate their defeat of the Syndicate exactly one year before, Blaze, Adam and Axel met for drinks. The next morning, Axel received a frantic phone call from Eddie "Skate" Hunter, Adam's younger brother, whom he was living with on the edge of the city. Blaze and Axel found Adam and Skate's house wrecked, and a picture showing Adam chained up at the feet of Mr. X. The city then once again returned to its nightmarish state as criminals ran rampant. Unable to contact their old friend in artillery, Axel and Blaze team up with Skate and Max Thunder to free the city and rescue Adam from the Syndicate. It is up to you to take down Mr. X once and for all.

Blazing Lazers (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): Blazing Lazers is a vertical-scrolling shooter that was praised for surpassing the limitations of the hardware of its time. Players control the extraordinary firepower of their Gunhed Star Fighter to take on the Dark Squadron that has begun its invasion of Earth. Collect power-ups to increase your ship's battle strength so it can cut through enemies and defeat the bosses in all nine areas. Of course, as part of the "Soldier" series, the game contains a good combination of fast-paced speed with catchy, drum-propelled background music, coupled with the Field Thunder that can be used to destroy enemies in one fell swoop for the ultimate sense of satisfaction. With its fine-tuned difficulty levels, Blazing Lazers is a shooting game that anyone can enjoy.

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