Yo, peeps. Up in da Ko to da tak to da you, we all be mackin' some love on Gamestop. Sometimes, we sparks a blizz, puts on da bling and we just go mackin' on down to Gamestop. "Yo, foh shizz, lez get da PS3 pre-order IZ-ON," we be sayin' to the Gamestop peeyimp behind the counter. "Sold out... BEEYOTCH!" he responds. "Hell NO, negro!" I'm all like, because we both be bein' black brothas. "Help an African-Irishman albino brudda out..." And den he all be like BLSADJDFSKKDJSK;LDSKDLS;F...

Sorry. I've lost the ability to even pretend to speak the ridiculous wanna-be ebonical patois of my more slope-browed gaming brethren. The joke's not worth the self loathing.

Seriously. I know gaming is the sport of white boy nerds emulating minority culture the only way they know how: endlessly babbling at the mouth in a completely insulting dialect of so-called pimp speak. But first of all, gamers, if you had any respect for yourselves, you'd have left that shit back in the early 90's along with your parachute pants. And second? Gamer pimp speak has about as much in common with real pimp (in which I, of course, am fluent) as Pig Latin does to Latin. What you're speaking? Gibberish; another completely made-up language like Klingon, Elvish or French.

So what's this post about? Glad you asked. Kotakuite Ryfael forwarded us an absolutely horrible email that Gamestop.com sent him. We swear to god, this is the subject:

GET YO ASS TO GS AND TRADE IN DA GAMES

And if that brings you in to Gamestop, let me know your email address; I'll send you a similarly worded pamphlet on the benefits of chemical castration, sure to hook you in.

To be fair, that subject coming from an official mailing of a major company is pretty unbelievable. Ryfael may have been pulling our leg. Can anyone confirm? Florian Eckhardt

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