The best way to market your new console to gamers everywhere: make them evacuate their bladder in hysteria.

What more can be said about this Playstation 3 advertisement? A horrible, dead-eyed baby doll with its eyelids cut off and possessed by the souls of a thousand Chuckies screeches with the horrifying falsetto of Eraserhead's reptilian infant. Then its eyes begin to bleed... backwards.

It seems what the advertisement is saying is that the PS3 will cause your toys to come to life. Upon becoming sentient, these toys will go into the kitchen and remove a knife from the drawer. It will then creep to the bedroom where you're sleeping and, before you can wake, it will blind you, deafen you and cut out your tongue. The next hours will be spent cutting away wet pieces of you and you will experience it all in a black world sensationless but for your own terror and agony. Buy a PS3. Florian Eckhardt

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