Look, I like slapping a girl on the ass and watching the jiggle effect ripple through every supple ounce of fat on her voluptuous frame as much as the next man. Ask Eliza. With her thick and hirsute upper lip and gastropod body shape , she might as easily be considered Greco-Jabbaesque as she would be "all the more lovin."

But has anyone who works for Team Ninja actually ever seen a girl before? It's not like they come out of Jell-O moulds... a slight breeze does not cause a woman to gelatinously quake from head to toe, no matter how gigantic her breasts. I expect my women not to exhibit the same tactile consistency as a tub of cottage cheese. Florian Eckhardt

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