This meat puppet I walk around in? Not only do I want a refund, but I can't believe the amount of upkeep it requires to work properly, including exercise... something I hate doing because it's just plain hard. As far as I'm concerned, the sooner science can extract my brain with a mashed-potato scoop and slap it into a super-sexy, non-degrading cyborg body with a prehensile penis, retractable machine gun turrets growing out of triple-D breasts and a Wii disc slot directly interfacing with my brain, the better.

But that's a few years off. In the meantime, Tim Tucker has tried to make physical fitness more exciting to flabby Jabbas like me by melding Tetris with weight lifting. Apparently, you sit in a chair and use a series of pulleys connected to weights to shift the Tetris pieces from left to right and rotate them.

It is, of course, an absurd idea, but no more absurd than the bloated, farting sack of gelatin with which my soul somehow became infused. Worth a shot until those cyborgs come around. Florian Eckhardt

Tetris Weightlifting [Official Site]

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