When a Top Ten List of the Hottest Guys in the Video Game Industry is this sad, you pretty much know that the industry is filled with hirsute, pimply cromagnons. For example, Adam Sessler, left, who looks like he just crawled out of a stripper's rectum in full delirium tremens mode to phone in another pantless G4 co-hosting session.

The rest of the list is slightly better: yes, Cliffy B. is dreamy, and I don't know what it is about Asian guys, but even when they aren't objectively handsome, they make up for it in style and a fastidious zealousness in personal grooming. But Tony Tallarico looks like he should be breaking fingers for the mob, Victor Lucas looks like the sort of wounded puppy who asks girls out with the phrase "Will you go out on a date with me please?" and the picture of Kevin Pereira apparently catches him in the middle of unhinging his jaw to swallow a wharf rat.

Ashcraft and I are way hotter than any of these dudes. Florian Eckhardt

The Top Ten Hottest Guys in the Video Game Industry [The Girl Gamer]