Ladies and Gentlemen, we present to you the premier awards show of the year, Kotaku's very own The Kotaku Awards. Each winner has been hand selected from a pool of very tough competitors, each of whom are really winners in their own way.

Without any further adieu, join us down the red carpet, past the riot of flashbulbs, up the stairs and after the jump to see Kotaku's personal favorites from this year's Electronic Entertainment Expo.

In no particular order...

Emptiest Booth: Tie: Playstation 3 Booth/Ladies Bathroom

Best Surprise Ruined by Kotaku: Halo 3

Developer Most Able to Obviate Booth Babes: Jade Raymond, Producer, Assassin's Creed

Most Phones Checked During Speech: Bill Gates' 'surprise' Xbox 360 appearance during the Microsoft Press Conference.

Best Entertainment Hardware Platform: Margarita Man Frozen Self-Serve Margarita Machine.

Most Fried Food Per Presser Attendee: Sony

Developer Most Likely to Hand-Out Kool-Aid: Left Behind Games

Worst Movie Tie-In Game That Might Actually Be Good: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Best Booth Inexplicably Staffed by Fans Flown in from Parts Unknown to Work for Free: CCP's EVE Online

Most Likely to Snap and Go on Killing Spree: Namco's Pac-Hat-wearing Booth Staffers

Best Use of Trailer Footage from Last Year: World of Warcraft

Swankiest Party for Least Discernible Purpose: Nokia's rooftop N-Gage party at The Standard.

Best Insult of Travis' Pumpkin-sized Head in a Marketing Pitch: Saitek

Best Engrish in a Booth Demo Display: Gundam: Mobile Suit for PS3... every game needs a "Rock On" button.

Best E3 Speech: Iwata's GDC speech

Best Gamecube Game: Anything Labeled 'Wii'

Best Game Based On a French Novella: Le petit Super Mario Galaxy

Most Useful Swag in a Life-Threatening Water Evacuation: Webzen Inflatable Raft and Emergency Light Beacon

Most Idiotic, Yet Useful Swag: Nyko's tiny, battery-powered fan

Best Use of Crystalline Herpes in Game Concept: Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam

Best Gaming Appendage: Tie: Xbox 360 HDDVD/ Sony's Phil Harrison

Best Group Interview to Whine About Not Being an Exclusive In: Microsoft's Peter Moore

Game Most in Need of Vagina-Mouthed Warrior Crab: Hans Christian Anderson

Most Likely to Quit Videogame Design for a Career in George Hamilton Impersonation: Toshihiro Nagoshi

Best Equipped to Deal with Potential Booth Babe-less E3: I4U's Model Squad

Best Ridge Racer!: Kaz Hirai

Best Game to Teach Children About the Insidious Slow-Leech of Modern Consumerism: Viva Pinata

Most Apropos Use of Booth Babes: The 'Throne of Conan' Booth.

Franchise Most Likely to Provoke Comment on the Human Condition by Bashing Crabs with Laser Swords: Silicon Knights' Too Human

Best God of War Sequel: Heavenly Sword

Game of the Show that We're Overly Fond of Because of Its Soundtrack or Ability to Bludgeon Undead: Tie: God Hand/Dead Rising

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