After the announcement that the Nintendo Revolution is going to be called the "Wii", we all feel a little bit sick. This is like drunkenly going home with a Thai stripper and discovering the next morning that not only is she a pre-op transsexual, she's nine. Jesus, Nintendo.

We don't really have any words of comfort. We hope you won't start slaloming down the slippery slope of saccharine idiocy by calling it the Wii, but instead continue to proudly call Nintendo's new console the Revolution, which evokes Marxism and a defiant fist stabbing at the sky, not the sound of a small child being pushed down a two foot slide.

In the meantime, we could all use a visceral infusion of manly machoistic mayhem. So here's a blast from a past of more masculine gaming times, steeling us against the horror to come like a double belt of scotch. The brilliant 17 minute speed run through Quake by those maniacal bunnyhoppers, the Quake Done Quick guys: