"Thank you very much," says a chorus of purple kimonos. They bow in unison as I make my way towards the door, but then backtracking to look at the celebratory bouquets.

In the lobby, I loiter for a bit. The purple kimonos already thanked me. So, if I leave now, they'll thank me again. How awkward.

I leave. Nobody says a word.

"Hello," says a 40ish year-old man trying to grow a beard. "Nihongo o shaberemasu ka?" Do you speak Japanese?

"Shaberemasuyo." Yes, I do.

The man is a producer and has the business card to prove it. Flanked by a cameraman and a sound guy in a bandana, he's trying to coax me into an interview. The cameraman smiles like a Cheshire Cat and focuses the lens, saying "wonderful" repeatedly. They've found their token white guy. Gold.

It's not live. Relax.
PRODUCER: "What was your favorite thing?"
ME: "The giant karuta game and the DS Navi."
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
PRODUCER: "How was that?"
ME: "Fun. A fantastic gaming experience."
Am I supposed to look at the camera?"
PRODUCER: "Was it difficult to use the DS?"
ME: "Not really. Some people's didn't work, but, ya know, nah."
Look at the producer and try to sound relatively intelligent.
PRODUCER: "Could children use it?"
ME: "Of course. It's a DS. But, I didn't see any children. If there were children, they could've used it. So, maybe. Yes. Definitely."
Okay Ashcraft, you're a dolt.
PRODUCER: "Do you think foreigners would be interested in this?"
Words. Getting. Caught. In. Throat.
ME: "Yes. Even if. Even if. Even if they're not interested in karuta, they might be interested in Nintendo and the DS."
It's over, and you're unharmed.
PRODUCER: "Thank you."
ME: "When's this going to be broadcasted?"
The camera's still rolling slick.

The producer says it'll be on tonight, and I head down the stairs and up the street. A young girl in an orange kimono glides by with her wool-covered father stomping along beside. And I start looking for a place to eat. Word is that Beat Takeshi or somebody famous has a restaurant around here. Now, if I could just find it.

Tradition in Kansai [Kotaku]

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