You've done the worst thing you could possibly have done: You told yourself you didn't need an Xbox 360, resisted the lure of the pre-order schemes, only to wake this morning in a ring of sweat smelling of Mountain Dew and fear. Tonight other people would be playing a new videogame system without you.

So ignoring your serious consumer electronics consumption issues, we're going to try and help you snag a 360 post-haste. Hit up your ATM and clear off some space from your high-interest credit cards—we're about to get spendy.

No, fucking seriously, come on. I'm sick of convincing you to buy this thing. Jesus, your room smells like the pickle aisle at Foot Locker.

Best Buy

While Kotaku has given a disproportionate amount of coverage to Best Buy's launch plans, I can safely say that you'd be sort of dumb to try to grab one from Best Buy this evening. Each store is going to have around 50 of the full, 'Premium,' or 'Not Retarded' systems and maybe 20-ish of the 'Core' systems. (We don't have to tell you that it's better to wait for a full system than get the heavily-neutered Core system, right?)

The problem is, these stores are going to be packed tighter than R. Kelly Summer Camp. They're going to have a healthy amount of consoles, games, and peripherals—that's good. And you're going to be able to stand in line and play PSP and DS games with all the other nerds waiting around. (I'm thinking early-adopters are going to be playing a lot of Mario Kart DS, for some reason.) But you're going to have get in line early and get in line often. With unit counts varying from store to store, there's really no way to guarantee your spot unless you budget a few extra hours before midnight. Hope the weather holds, suckers.

Bonus Best Buy Tip: Many stores already have the peripherals and games out for sale (some stores are putting the extra 360 controllers over in the PC gamepad section, for instance). Take a whirl though early today and get the other crap you're going to need. You can always sell it to someone else if you don't end up getting a system tonight. Bonus Bonus Best Buy Tip: Google "site:kotaku.com best buy" may offer up a wealth of otherwise hidden treasures.

Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart, where the devil himself shops for socks, is a pretty decent place to pick up a 360 if you don't have a preorder. Our sources are saying around 50 units per store total, but bear in mind those numbers tend to vary depending on the overall sales of each store. Wal-Mart's the genital-crushing colossus of American retail, however, so Microsoft isn't going to short them.

The 'official' word we have is that most Wal-Marts will not be allowing lines to form in the store (or, for that matter, outside the store). Instead, tickets will be given out in the Electronics department store on a first-come, first-serve basis. These tickets will be redeemed for a chance for one fun-filled byproduct of American hegemony at the Lay Away window at Midnight. We're not joking—the Law Away window, last seen holding a Jolly Rancher for use in a joke about Your Mama.

But it gets worse/better: Wal-Mart won't allow you to form a line at the Lay Away window. So those tickets that you get from the Electronics department don't really get you anything but a chance to mill aimlessly around the store, where you may just happen to linger near the Law Away window, ready to trap or maim anyone else nearby.

Bonus Wal-Mart Tip: Wal-Mart is one of America's leading retailers of shotguns.

Toys R Us

TRU has infamously boned people by saying they weren't going to do pre-orders, then switching gears at the last minute. If you don't have a pre-order, don't bother.

Bonus Toys R Us Tip: Toys R Us (most of them, anyway), have pretty lenient return policies. That means you can get one of those insultingly expensive $1,000 bundles, then walk right over and return what you don't want.

Buying Tomorrow

Target, Circuit City, and CompUSA all get a fair amount of consoles, but won't be putting them on the shelves until tomorrow morning. If you can stand waiting another 10 hours, showing up at those locations on the morning on the 22nd will probably be just as likely (and more
convenient) than waiting up all night tonight.

Unlikely Sources

You can be headstrong and wait it out at one of the big retailers, or you can play it smart and—did you hear a gong?—strike where the crowd is not. Sears, for instance, has a 'Funtronics' section. They usually get a few units. FYE and other music stores like Suncoast often get in a few units. Local electronics retailers and home theater stores might have a few. And all of these places, with just a few units, might be willing to sell you one tonight (or today,
even) if you slip them a twenty, since they aren't going to be under the scrutinous eye of Allard and his goblins.

Final Tips Recap

• Waiting in line is for sucks, but if you're going to do it, bring some water, warm clothes, and your DS and PSP. • Try and return unwanted, bundled games and accessories. Some stores will allow this, and it does not make you an asshole. • Be prepared to spend upwards of $1,000, especially at stores that force bundles. • If you can't be arsed to stand in line until midnight, try other stores tomorrow. • Small retailers have smaller crowds (and smaller allocations of inventory).

And the final, most important tip:

• Product shortages, while possible, are often engineered as a marketing stunt. (See: the Sony PSP, which "sold out" while thousands sat on store shelves.) If you don't get an Xbox 360 in the next 24 hours, don't worry. I promise you that Microsoft will be happy to sell you one for the next, say, four years. And if you wait, you'll even be able to buy an Xbox 360 plus a game you actually want, not one of the many launch titles that will have to do.

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