Apt pupil, meet your new teachers: Kasumi, Mihiro and Ayu. These gals guide students through Yawahada Eigo Juku ("Soft Skin English Cram School"), a Japanese word play on the DS game, Yawaraka Atama Juku ("Soft Brain Cram School"). Those brave souls at Insert Credit even shelled out money to review the game. The lengths journos have to go to.

The "game" isn't actually a game, but a UMD video with chapters switched by on screen prompts. The bikini gals appear and teach useful expressions like, "Kudo yuu teru mii hau tsu getto tsu za guddo resutoran nia hia?" ("Could you tell me how to get to a good restaurant near here?") Misspelled karaoke-style subtitles help students follow along.

"Sometimes the girls dance in their bikinis, and find reasons to speak English to one another while doing so," reports Instant Credit. "The context is, they're on a trip overseas, and are teaching you handy travel expressions while they sit by the pool or belly-roll on beach balls." Ah, this is great even for native speakers! I've always wanted to know what I should say while belly-rolling on beach balls.

Even though online retailers list the Engrish teacher's bust size, the game features zero nudity and no sex. And unlike Talkman, the game does not support the PSP mic, which means that you can't really use Yawahada Eigo Juku for proper studying. That's a shocker.

Order Here Eager Students [Rakuten] via Insert Credit

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